Wrong


The jeans that fit me just last month
now just won’t seem to button up!
And I’m sure my forehead wasn’t quite so large.
My trained, toned muscles that were always hard
now look and feel like spongy lard.
And worse than that I look like I need a bra!

Oh no! Oh no! A midlife crisis!
And although it might show, I’d rather die before I confess;

I think I’m still young.
I’m wrong.
So wrong!
God! What went wrong?
Went wrong?
So wrong!

My grandad’s face sends me cold shivers,
staring back at me from mirrors;
and that’s not good ‘cos he’s been dead for years.
My laugh lines are a permanent feature;
there even when I’m being sincere.
And my other problems make me fear the hearse.

BRIDGE

CHORUS

If I could live my life again I’d have more fun.
The days never ended when I was young.
I’m still young.
I’m still young.
Life’s too short; it’s not a game.
Got to shift the blame.

Oh no! Oh no! A midlife crisis!
And I’m fighting to stay young

CHORUS

Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wo-oh-oh
Life’s too short; it’s not a game.
I won’t ever be young again.
I can’t take the stress and strain.

Life’s too short; it’s not a game.
I won’t ever be young again.
The wife, kids and boss are all to blame.

Life’s too short; it’s not a game.
I won’t ever be young again.
I can’t take the stress and strain.

©8.6.2011 Andrew Robert Chapman

Alternate verses


And if I look closely I can see
hairs in my ears growing wildly;
and I’m sure my lugs weren’t always this prominent.
More aches and pains than I can count,
I’m pretty sure that I’ve got gout
and other ailments that my granny had.

And now I’ve noticed varicose veins,
to go along with my other pains,
and I break out in a sweat when I just sit.
My laugh lines are buried under wrinkles.
My hands are now just lines and crinkles.
And I daren’t report on what’s happened to other bits!


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