Come on and show me your crutch

Parody based on Shania Twain’s “That don’t impress me much”

Ow!
Uh-uh, yep-yeah.
You’ve known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart?
Well I’ve got being right down to an art.
I know I’m a genius, I’ll drive you up the wall.
Yeah I’m your regular original know-it-all.

Oh-oh, I know I’m special.
Oh-oh, I know I’m something else.
Baby, I’m a rocket scientist!

So baby show me your crutch.
Yeah I’ve got the brains and I’ve got the touch.
I’ll give you some tongue, yeah I’ll do it just right.
I wanna hear you scream in the middle of the night.
So baby show me your crutch.

Uh-uh, yep-yeah.
You know that I’m the type of guy who carries a mirror in his pocket,
and a comb up my sleeve, just in case.
And all that extra-hold gel in my hair sure does lock it,
‘cos heaven forbid it should fall out of place!

Oh-oh, I think I’m special.
Oh-oh, I think I’m something else.
Check this! Six pack and ripped!

So baby show me your crutch.
Yeah I’ve got the looks and I’ve got the touch.
I’ll give you some tongue, yeah I’ll do it just right.
I wanna hear you scream in the middle of the night.
So baby show me your crutch.

Yeah …

I’m one of those guys who likes to shine my machine,
I’ll make you take off your clothes before I let you get in.
You won’t believe you’ll suck my cock all night.
Now come on baby deeper! You must be choking, right?

Oh-oh, I think I’m something special.
Oh-oh, I think I’m something else.
Baby, I’ve got a monster cock!

So baby show me your crutch.
Yeah I’ve got the moves and I’ve got the touch.
I’ll give you some tongue, yeah I’ll do it just right.
I wanna hear you scream in the middle of the night.
So baby show me your crutch.

Oh o oh oh
I hope its shaved and not some hairy bush, no no.
I’ll give you some tongue, yeah I’ll do it just right.
I wanna hear you scream my name all through the night.
So baby show me your crutch.
Uh-uh, yep-yeah.
Come on, start shaking your pelvis or something!
Now just undress me!

©23.5.2011 Andrew Robert Chapman


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