Rather Be Dead

Woke up the wrong side of too old,
felt the stabbin’ cramps in my bones.
I’m a martyr to my aches and pains
bu’ somethin’ worse ‘s drivin’ me insane.

My solid friend would wake up ev’ry morn,
I ain’t the Devil but I always hadda horn.
Never thought twice ’bout how well blessed I was.
Y’always appreciate somethin’ when its gone.

Went to the doctor this is what he said,
“Sorry, old boy, you’re suffering (from) ED.”

I’d rather be dead.

Thank the stars for science ‘n’ medicine,
they’ve found a cure for my new nemesis.
Ivory cures ‘n’ tiger tails adieu,
my saviour’s a diamond of blue.

Some say money can’t buy happiness,
but I get bang for my buck, nonetheless.
There’s life in this old dog, don’t cha’ know?
Mighty oaks from acorns grow.



©17.4.2019 Andrew Robert Chapman

Felt the throbbin’ cramps to my bones.

No more notches on my belt,
can get to grips with the hand I’ve bin dealt.
My solid friend would wake up before me,
could set my clock by his regularity
Didn’t have to dream ’bout x-rated porn

Went to the doctor these are the words he spoke,
… joke

Lifeless below the belt

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